Early struggle.
Influence is something only felt when you´re exposed to an extreme feeling or situation .
The end of the world as we know it, the place where all ancient order collapses, hierarchies yet to be established, a generation faces the shape of a kingdom of frightening masters that share an ancient status, and stand as the guidance of this new generation.
It´s a scary day, the very one where you´re finally free from your parents guidance,where you´ll seek for your place in a new society, packed with friends yet to meet, the authority in the teacher figure, and then you realise, what major influence autorithy and established rules will have on the shape of your character .
Most kids tend love primary school, I did, but not everything regarding it. During the time I´ve spent in primary school, I´ve established relations that in some cases went far away as nowadays, experienced goodness, friendship, the spirit of companionship, learned how to share and why to do it, childish love, solidarity arose in our hearts as we faced injustices that threatened our coleagues and friends, suffering, mental and physical abuse, outrageous discrimination we saw, so anger and revolt filled our hearts and minds . We hated our teacher.
Her name was Adelaide, a plastic smile on a chubby face, who seemed to be the wife of some rural butcher or pig breeder, she knew all the religious chit chat, that old ladys always used to end a sentence, making you feel like you´re somehow guilty of some greater calamity, reminiscences of her past rural life, among pigs, priests,fascist and obedient peasants.
She would tell your mother that you´re a truly sweet and marvelous child as fast as she would slap you in the face ten minutes after your moms gone.
She only truly liked three or four girls, but I do not agree that the expression "like" it´s of justified usage when describing the relation of that woman with children under her guidance.
She used those children to promote herself, the prodigious child, whose capacities were far beyond the common knowledges of other students, was a sort of promoting card always to be shown to every teacher, sugesting how excellent teacher Adelaide should be to breed such a great pupil, it was superb for her ego. The brilliant girl wasn´t an easy one to domain, she knew that Adelaide only cared about her menial achievements . But there were other evil beings who served all Adelaide´s dreadful purposes, snitches, two faced, poisonous snakes, little girls to whom their colleagues mean nothing . They were just like our teacher, self-centered, hypocrites, and delighted by the suffering of others.
As the years went by, I´ve seen malevolence in all the beatings our teacher inflicted on the black kids, one wrong answer and the old and heavy wooden rule smashed their little children fingers as fast as hawk claws attack is prey . Her smile grew bigger as the tears flowed over the childs face. She often called them idiots and stupid.
She intend us not to question the why of such behavior, any rule or norm. Orders were not be questioned , she thought.
We used to argue a lot, that got us more damaged hands and faces, as well as the feeling that we were right.
Four year we´ve spent on her companion , blacks, poor, curious, non-catholics, creative, truly remarkable children with an elevated critical sense, suffered, were humiliated and repeatedly taught , that our way wasn´t the proper way, that we were to be no more than outcasts, that we would bend as the ruling party decided .
She was so odious that we kept her memory as the one of how wrong can someone be, and that we shall not let those persons ruin our life, judge us by our differences, despite all the power it maybe invested on them, we shall not bend.
It was with great satisfaction that I realised how this challenge helped many of my old colleagues, and myself, to stand for our convictions, to be te one we want to be, not the one that other meant us to be.
